The Sphinx and the Harlequin
by Bat-teen 28
Summary: Theses two girls have boy problems. Their supposed boyfriends are not what you would call the highest quality. So they decide to brake up and have a girls only crime spree, but along the way their two boyfriends decide that they aren't too happy about being left in Arkham to rot. What will the girls have to go through to survive their angry boyfriends? Please R and R. :D
1. Chapter 1 We don't need a man

The Sphinx and the Harlequin. Note: Oh, these girls have boy troubles of the highest quality. :D

* * *

Harley, Mist and Ivy lay outside on the grass at Arkham asylum. For once it was actually sunny. To see sunlight at Arkham Asylum was a once in a lifetime experience, so the girls were taking in as much light as they could.

"This is the life, isn't girls?" laughed Mist.

"Yeah, it sure is!" cried Harley as she stretched in the sun light.

Ivy smiled. "Yes it is nice."

"I can't believe they let you out Red," said Harley as she turned to her friend.

Ivy smiled. "It's amazing how stupid Arkham is. They always put me with a man as my therapist. Idiots."

Mist smirked. "You've got that right. They are total idiots, just like my Eddie said."

Ivy's eyes opened and she frowned.

"How are you and Eddie doing?" asked Harley sitting up.

Mist sat up and bit her lip. "We had a slight argument a few weeks past, but I think we'll be okay. Actually I know we'll be fine, Eddie hates it when I don't say 'I know'."

Ivy let out a sigh of irrattaion.

"What's up Red?" asked Harley, with a raised eyebrow.

Ivy sat up and narrowed her eyes at the two love sick rogues. "You two are pathetic, you know that?"

Mist glared. "How are we pathetic?"

Ivy smirked a bit and battered her eyelashes, changing her voice to mimic theirs. "Oh, Mista' J's so charming and funny and Eddie is so smart!" she laughed when she saw the expressions on the other twos faces.

"Yer' just jelouse Red, that we've got somebody and you ain't got no one!" cried Harley.

Ivy raised a slender eyebrow. "If you think what you and Joker have is love you're even more-"

"It is love!" snapped Harley.

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Yeah sure, Harl' whatever you say."

"Ivy. Who let you out of your cell?" snapped Aaron Cash as he walked up to the girls.

Ivy smiled. "My Doctor did Cash."

"Yeah? Well, I think now his head's clear of your pheromones her may think differently. Come on, it's back to your cell for you," snapped Cash.

Ivy sighed and got up to leave with Cash. "Take care of your selfs," Ivy called as she began to walk off.

"Good riddance!" shouted Mist.

The two rogues glanced at each other and sighed. What Ivy had said about them, had really got their attention.

* * *

That night, Harley lay on the top bunk, staring at the ceiling with wide blue eyes.

Mist lay underneath her on the bottom bunk with a deep frown on her face.

"Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"You awake?"

"Yeah."

"Can't sleep?"

"Nope."

"Is it about what Ivy said?"

"Uh huh. You?"

"Same."

The two girls sighed and looked out side to the corridor.

"Do you think it's true about what Ivy said?" asked Mist.

Harley stretched in her bed and yawned. "Maybe, I don't know. Makes Ya' wonder."

Mist bit her lip and looked at the underneath of the top bunk. "We were Psychologists once. We can evaluate each other."

Harley smiled. "Okay. Sounds fun."

"Right so who wants to go first?" asked Mist.

"Me!" shouted Harley.

"Keep it down! Okay, so me evaluating you, or you evaluating me?" asked Mist as she placed her hands behind her head.

"You evaluating me," cried Harley as she looked underneath her bunk, her blond pig tails hung down and made it look like she had horns.

Mist bit her lip and thought for a moment. "Well, lets look at the facts first. You're in love with a maniac, who beats you up for the tiniest of things, weather it's your fault or not. He sells you out if it gets him time off and he has tried to kill you on numerous occasions," Mist explained, ticking them off her fingers one by one.

Harley frowned and studied Mist, who looked up at her with a slight worried expression on her face.

"Okay, your turn!" cried Harley as she jumped onto the floor.

Spinning around she pointed at Mist and cried. "You are in love with a self obsessed idiot, who is narcissistic, treats you horribly if you can't answer a riddle or you're not in the mood for one, he also has a tendency to get violent if you annoy him or make him angry and he will leave you in trouble because it means he can get off scot free!"

Mist frowned at Harley and looked at the floor. "Ya' know Harl' the problem with being an ex-psychologist is you know exactly what's wrong with you."

Harley slumped to the floor and frowned. "Yeah, you're right. Red was right, we really are pathetic."

The two women looked at each other and huffed in annoyance.

"We could always escape, get out and have a girl crime spree, with no insane or narcissistic boyfriends at our throats every five minuets," suggested Mist.

Harley looked up at her and grinned. "Sounds like fun!"

Mist smiled back. "It sure does, doesn't it?"

Harley beamed at her friend and jumped up and down. "Oh, can we go now, can we go now?!"

Mist laughed a little and got to her feet. "Why not? It'll be a challenge!"

Just then the guard came over. "Will you two shut up!"

"Make us!" challenged Mist.

The guard was a big middle aged man, very round in the face and in the belly. Mist had worked with him when she had been a Doctor here. Key word there, had been. There was a joke that would encircle it's way around Mist, Harley and Jonathan. A private joke for the ex-psychologists and only the ex-psychologists.

They had been sitting in the reck room one day, when they all started talking about the good old days at the Asylum and then they realised that the staff were more insane then the patients. They then made a joke by saying that maybe the patients should treat the staff, after all some of the stuff the staff did to the patients could hardly be called humane.

He stepped into their cell and swung his billy club. "You will shut up or I'll make you shut up!"

Mist smirked at him. The other joke they had was the fact that the guards would beat up the inmates when they were tied up or unarmed. So the guard wasn't a very good fighter.

Sphinx and Harley jumped over the guard, kicked the back of his knees so he fell to the floor and then they ran out and shut the door.

"Come on!" shouted Sphinx as she grabbed Harley by one of her pigtails and dragged her away from the guard she was making faces at.

The only way out was through the men's wing at Arkham. Once the two women got to the corridor they froze.

Both of their boyfriends were down here, probably expecting them to open their cells.

Harley glanced at Sphinx who turned to her and smiled. "No boyfriends! Just us girls," she said holding her arm out.

Harley glanced at the arm before smiling. "Yeah, sure thing! No Mista' J and no Mista' R!" she cried as she linked arms with Sphinx.

They both grinned and walked down the hall way, heads held up high, grinning from ear to ear.

Joker and Riddler were set opposite each other, which Edward hated greatly because the clown wouldn't shut up.

Suddenly they heard whispering. "Say, it's Sphinx and Harley Quinn. What are they doing down here?"

Edward and Joker grinned at each other.

"Looks like we'll be leaving Arkham, Ed' my boy! Ain't it great!?" cackled Joker.

Edward grinned and nodded in agreement.

Suddenly the girls came into view as they walked down the corridor.

Edward and Joker lent against the glass of their cells and grinned at the two, because they knew what was coming. But the girls didn't stop, instead they carried on walking.

This cause Joker and Edward to panic a little.

"Say girls!" the two women turned to their boyfriends. Joker grinned at them. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Harley and Sphinx looked at each other before grinning. "Oh yeah!" they both said in union.

They quickly ran up to the glass that contained their boyfriend and kissed the glass where their very shocked faces where before running off down the corridor.

"You take the guards out, I'll get us a ride!" cried Harley as she skipped off.

Sphinx nodded and ran towards the exit, taking the guards out and then she hid in the shadows waiting for Harley.

"Oh come on, Harl'." she muttered as she checked the time.

Suddenly she heard a roar of an engine as the single headlight of a Harley Davison came into view.

Sphinx raised an eyebrow before grinning.

Harley hopped off the back and tossed Sphinx her white leather and her helmet, with the question marks on the back.

"Get on Sphinxy! We ain't got all day!" laughed Harley.

Sphinx rolled her eyes as she shoved her jacket on before jumping on the back of the Harley.

"Nice helmet Harl'. Do you mind moving the tassels out of the way?" asked Sphinx laughing as she pulled her helmet on. "Where did you find that helmet any way?"

"You'd be amazed by what Ya' can find on the internet!" laughed Harley. "Now hold on Sphinxy! This might be a little bit of a rough ride!"

Sphinx wrapped her arms around Harley's waist and noted that she gripped a little tighter when Harley started the engine.

Suddenly they where through the gates of Arkham, on the dark road and then they were at the edge of the city.

"So where are we staying at?" asked Harley.

Sphinx grinned. "I have a nice little hideout at the edge of Gotham, near the docks. It used to be an old museum, but it went bust ages ago so I got it. All I need to do is call Jenna up and she can have it all sorted out."

Harley nodded. "Ya' know Sphinxy! I think we're gonna' have a great time!"

T.B.C:


	2. Chapter 2 What a tip!

Hide out and take out. Note: Uh oh! The girls are in trouble. Not because of their ex- boyfriend's burning anger, but because Sphinx just can't pick hide outs.

* * *

The cool ocean breeze blew rubbish and old fish nets around the docks. A small building complex lay not too far away, with an old museum that closed because of the main one that opened in the middle of the city. It hadn't been used in ages, but it had been put up for sale and one of Arkham's most notorious got it. Parts of it where falling down, the beams in some places needed to be re-enforced and some of the floor boards and tiles where rotting or they had been removed completely. There was no power because the old generator was practically broken.

The roar of a Harley Davison came to a halt as the driver turned the engine off and parked the bike.

"Come on," cried Sphinx as she ran up the steps.

" 'ang on Sphinxy! I'mma' coming!" cried Harley as she ran up the steps pulling her helmet off in the processes.

Sphinx quickly unlocked the door and ran inside.

Harley came inside and her mouth dropped in horror at the sight of the supposed 'hideout'.

"Look at it Harley!" cried Sphinx as she spun around in the middle of the room. "Doesn't it make you want to cry?!"

Harley looked around and slowly nodded her head. "Yes, yes it does make me want to cry."

"Come on, I'll take you to your room!" cried Sphinx as she ran up the almost fallen down steps.

Harley slowly walked up the steps. "I guess it's safe to say I now know why you were put in a mental asylum Sphinxy," she muttered to herself.

"This is your room," explained Sphinx as she pointed to the room that was probably the only one that still had furniture in it, like a long box seat and a few blankets on it.

"I'm sorry it's not much, but when I get Jenna here, she can re furnish all of it, new everything!" cried Sphinx grinning.

Harley grinned. "Okay, I guess this place will look pretty cool once it's all done up. But there is just one thing I'd like to ask you," said Harley as she placed her helmet on the floor. "Well actually there's two things I'd like ta' ask Ya'."

Sphinx smiled and ran a hand through her hair. "Okay Harl', shoot!"

"Okay, one is can I have a toy room put in here?" she asked turning to Sphinx who nodded her head with a smile. "Okay then the second thing is, can we go cloths shopping tomorrow?"

Sphinx frowned and walked down stairs.

Harley blinked and ran after her. "Sphinxy! Please can we go shopin'! You said we where going to have a fun time!"

Sphinx sat on an old bone and picked the paper up, then proceeded to read it.

"Please Sphinxy! It's just a shopin' trip!" cried Harley.

Sphinx sighed. "We are wanted criminals in seven states," she pointed out with a grim expression on her face.

Harley sat cross legged on the floor and frowned. "Only seven states? I'm wanted in twenty-eight states. How come you're less?"

Sphinx looked over her paper and frowned. "Because they didn't know it was me in the other ones."

"Oh," was all Harley said and she looked at the floor. "Please! It will be fun, you have to admit that!" she cried.

Sphinx sighed and looked over her paper again. "And where were you thinking of going?"

"Ya' know, the really expensive shops… oh and I really need to pay a visit to Victoria's secret!" cried Harley, her blues eyes shining with excitement.

Sphinx laughed. "Oh yes, I can see the headlines now. 'Gotham girls rob Victoria's secret! and then the sub title would say, 'the rogues who robbed the thong shop'."

Harley frowned. "We'd be paying!" she snapped. "Besides that didn't sound stupid enough for it to be a news paper headline."

Sphinx frowned and pulled a phone out of her pocket. "I'm ordering pizza. Do you want some?"

"Sphinxy please! I really want to go shopping!" cried Harley.

Sphinx threw the paper into the air and huffed. "Fine! We'll go shopping tomorrow! Now do you want pizza or not?"

"Yes please," said Harley, grinning up at Sphinx.

Sphinx shook her head and began to call the pizza place, while Harley began to practice hand stands on the back of the only sofa in the entire place.

When Mist was done on the phone she sat on the sofa, picked up her paper and flicked through it till she found the crossword puzzle and then she grabbed the pen from behind her ear, before starting to fill in the crossword.

Harley did a back flip and landed on the sofa with a squeal.

"Please don't kill yourself," muttered Mist absentmindedly as she scribbled in another word to the puzzle.

Harley looked over at Sphinx and grinned. "Ya' look like Eddie Ya' know? When you're hunched over like that with the paper in Ya' hand, you remind me of him."

Sphinx opened her mouth to speak, but found she couldn't.

Thankfully there was a knock at the door and Mist went over to the answer it.

She slid the top half of her jumpsuit off, so it left her in the white vest and prison trousers and shoes, she she slipped off the shoes too and that made her look like she was in relaxed jogging bottoms and shirt.

"Pizza- wow!" cried the pizza man when he looked up at Mist.

She smiled and took the pizza off him. "Thanks," she said as she handed him the money.

"N- no problem Miss." splutter the pizza man as she closed the door.

"YAY!" squealed Harley as she ran towards Mist. "Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!"

Mist laughed and walked into the main room and placed the pizza box on the floor before sitting down herself. "Looks like it's already been cut for us. Oh how nice of them."

Harley jumped onto the floor and pulled a big slice of pizza away from the box and began to eat it.

"So, we are going shopping tomorrow, right?" asked Harley.

Sphinx nodded her head. "Yes, Harley we are."

"YAY! Oh, I have another question Sphinxy!"

Mist sighed. "Yes, what is it?"

"Can I bring my babies here?" asked Harley grinning.

Sphinx went wide eyed. "Your what?! I- I never knew you where pregnant?"

Harley went wide eyed this time. "What?!" she puased and both women stared at each other. "Oh no, not them sort of babies. I mean my hyenas. Ya' know, Bud and Low."

"You want to bring them slobbery beasts here?" asked Sphinx as she took another bit elf pizza.

Harley frowned. "They ain't slobbery. They're really cute!"

"Tell that to Dead Switch. I heard about that whole fiasco!"

Harley burst out laughing. "Oh! It wasn't there fault. They just don't like Switchy that much. I don't know why, but they just don't."

"Yes well it's safe to say Switch doesn't like them much return, so I guess that settles things," muttered Sphinx.

"Well, can I bring 'em?" asked Harley.

Sphinx sighed and studied the harlequin before giving in. "Yes, I suppose you can."

"YAY!" cried Harley as she jumped into the air.

"But," Harley looked down and frowned. "If they get us into trouble, then they're out. You got it?" hissed Sphinx.

Harley nodded her head. "Yeah, Sphinxy! I got it!"

"Good."

They finished off their pizza and stayed up a little longer before Mist declared that they have had a long day and should rest.

So the two women went to sleep with very big smiles on their faces.

* * *

At the same time, however, tow men lay in their cots at Arkham with the angriest of faces plastered on.

Riddler and Joker were not happy at all with the girls. They where in a lot of trouble and they were going to regret leaving them behind. Riddler and Joker were going to make sure of it.

T.B.C:


End file.
